I'veheard many women and some men say that they must be in love before theyfeel comfortable with physical intimacy. In other words, when theyfinally have sex with someone, it is symbolic of how they feel aboutthe other person. Such people more readily express their feelings, butare highly selective with whom they share their bodies. Physicalintimacy follows emotional intimacy.

Asfor me, I've always freely shared my body without it necessarily beingfreighted with any deep emotions beyond sheer chemistry. However, I ammuch more reserved about whom I share my innermost thoughts andfeelings. I don't expect to fall in love with everyone I have sex with,nor do I expect them to fall in love with me. Most of the time, it'ssimply meeting a basic need.

I'msomeone who believes that talk is, indeed, cheap. I'm not going to tellsomeone I love them if I don't, even if I want to have sex with them.When I say the words, I mean them. The sex doesn't happen as a resultof love; rather, in the rare instance that love happens, it arisesindependently of the sex, even though the end result may be to make thesex even better.